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Advice For My Teenage Self...

On Knowing What You Want To Do In Life...

I'll let you in on a little known secret... you don't have to have it all figured out. If you do feel like you've got it all figured out... you are going to be closed off to what the universe puts in front of you. Nobody has all the answers. Only you know what's right for you. Jobs can come and go, it's all growth and learning. It doesn't mean you are a failure. You are just being steered in the right direction.

Important -

- Learn to live within your means (if you're making less money... spend less money)

-Pull your weight (never expect others to carry your burdens or give you a hand out)

-Do not abandon a project before it is completed or break a commitment you made

-You do not have to say yes to everyone so that they will like you

-If something is no longer a good fit for your best to leave on good terms without feeling so guilty about it.

If you want to work at a job that doesn't pay much money... that is perfectly OK as long as you learn to live on that amount of money. A smaller apartment, no name clothes and, fewer possessions can be a fantastic life. You can enjoy walks in the park and free visits with friends more often when your job isn't so stressful.

Stop wasting money on brand name things because they are in trend, you can't afford that right now. Nor is it important for your happiness. It's only a temporary high that never lasts long when you put on those brand new sneakers. Avoid all 'quick fixes' whenever possible.

Do not let others (yourself included) make you feel like you should be somewhere other than exactly where you are. You are always exactly where you need to be. ALWAYS. Even when it's painful & tough. It's a lesson you need to learn to create long-lasting happiness. You will find love and settle down when the time is right and you're supposed to. Age isn't a factor in that process at all, regardless of what society would have you believe. There is no secret formula for happiness. It's a different mixture for everyone.

Success is defined by your ability to do the things you love as often as you please, not by material wealth or status. Whatever you are doing in life... be present... be mindful... be creative... and be enthusiastic. If you find yourself in a situation where it is difficult to be enthusiastic... it is not where you are meant to be.

Always be learning... Always be growing... Always be honest.

Focusing too much on the end result will take away from the journey.

There is no end destination for happiness... it is something you must constantly be working on and adjusting your entire life. Even when you find yourself at a place you feel you can be for the rest of your life... you should never stop trying new things or be closed off to changes. Your brain is like a muscle and if you stop exercising it... it will lose strength. Life can always shift in an instant, and you don't want to feel unprepared or incapable of adapting to change.

The "unwanted" shifts life will throw at you will be some of your greatest gifts once you embrace them. Resisting what's put in front of you will significantly hinder your journey. Embrace what is without fear as much as possible. Those boys that are breaking your heart are doing you a favor, it just doesn't feel that way right now. That thing you keep chasing that isn't working out is not meant for you. What is meant for you will come easily and naturally. Your job is to recognize it and be open to the fact that it may come in a different form than you had hoped.

Do your best to spend less time worrying and more time preparing yourself for tough situations. Worrying just makes you suffer twice if it does happen. It also takes you out of the present moment. Things are never bad or good, it just is what it is.

On Friendships...

Do your best to not get stuck in a click. Hanging out with the same people every weekend, talking about the same old things usually leads to drama and trouble. Not to mention the fact that it stunts your ability to grow and develop into your unique personality. Any friend who starts to resent you when you start changing and evolving needs to be kept at arm's length. Know that their codependency isn't healthy, and you are never responsible for someone else's happiness. It is not your job to be who THEY want you to be.

Encourage them to also try new things and meet new people when they start making negative comments about you "not being the same anymore". Always honor your word and don't cancel plans when they are made, but know that you are never obligated to make those plans. There is a difference between being a good friend and allowing yourself to be someone's crutch because they don't like their own life without you in it.

Pay attention to the vibe you get when you are around people, and how you feel when you get home after spending time with them. It will tell you all you need to know about who you should be spending time with. Are you just hanging out with them out of obligation and habit or are you actually enjoying their company? If something feels off that is because it is. This is not their fault or yours, you are simply not right for each other at that point in time.

When you find yourself sitting around a table and the person who couldn't make it is being talked about in a negative light... know that this group is probably toxic for you... and it is very likely that YOU are the one being talked about when you are not around. These types of clicks are very common at your age. It's all a part of growing up. It can be tough to try to break the mold and float around to different groups of people while learning new things, but I can assure you that it makes for a more balanced lifestyle in the long run. Lifelong friends are important, but true friends will encourage you to honor what is calling to you instead of needing you to be by their side most of the time acting the same as they do to help them feel validated. It is not healthy for them to be jealous when you are enjoying someone else's company.

Teenagers are very insecure (yourself included), know that if they are lashing out at you it is mostly due to their own insecurities. Do your best to send them love and not take it personally. It is often the loudest most aggressive personalities who are going through the most pain. Do not let them make you feel inferior or guilty for being you. Hope that one day they will heal their pain, and no longer lash out at others. Send them light and love if you need to walk away. Resentment is not needed.

Do not ever, under any circumstances, make fun of someone just because they are different or you don't understand them. This is a terrible thing to do, and it will haunt you for years to come. You don't quite understand yourself yet or feel confident about who you are, but that's no excuse to put someone else down. It will be easier to join the masses as they tend to alienate the unique at your age but do your best to never involve yourself in that kind of behavior. You deserve to be you...and everyone else deserves to be them. Support your friends while letting them choose their own path. Try not to steer them in the direction you think they should go. Lead by example.

On Death/suicide...

You cannot prevent what you don't know is going to happen. You will lose quite a few loved ones at a fairly early age. This is tragic, but what is even more tragic is how much time you will spend blaming yourself afterward. Wishing you would've done things differently will only bring more pain. They existed before this life, and they still exist now. They are with you whenever you wish to meditate and talk to them. They know you did your best. Death isn't as terrible as everyone makes it out to be. Spirit never dies, and they are OK on the other side. You are allowed to move forward with them in a new way.Take the time to mourn properly and process the loss, miss them, and remember the good times. Just remember that you don't need to hang onto the suffering for years. Send them light and love when you think of them while being grateful you had those shared moments. We are all infinite, it's just tough to understand that while we are on the earth plain.

On Love...

You will get your heart broken many many times... do your best to roll with it.

It will be extremely painful at times, and the loneliness will reach peak heights on holidays for many years to come. It's OK. It all works out for the best.

By 30 you will enjoy a few years of travel and independence. These are a fantastic few years that teach you so much about yourself. By 34 you will find love, a greater love than you ever even imagined. You will have "done it all" while experiencing many types of relationships. This is a gift, not a punishment. It's tough to find a great love without learning some tough lessons first, and it's all worth it. People will want to tell you that you are "too guarded" or your standards are "too high". Don't listen. They don't understand you. Always follow your intuition. Never settle! Trust that what you are looking for is out there. It is always out there.


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